Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize