forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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