she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
