after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
