i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
