i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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