Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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