his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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