peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
