I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
