You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize