I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
