Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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