Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
