Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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