If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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