Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
