She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
