This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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