ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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