I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
