Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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