I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
