its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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