We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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