"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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