Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
