Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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