I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
