so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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