At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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