guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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