1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
