No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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