did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is not my ceiling
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
