What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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