I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
