You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
