i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
