my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
