And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
