You really coming over, don't trick.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
