I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
