i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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