I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize