Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
