trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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