just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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