if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
