brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
