yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
