Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
