i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
