Jerry, you need to find god
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
