Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
