I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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