I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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