First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
