Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
